2010

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

So true, I felt like time passed by in the blink of an eye in 2009.
I mean, a day is still a day, 24h, but if I did not have my moleskine planner and my diary I would have looked at my calendar and thought: "Wow, where did the month go??"

My goal for 2010 (concerning time)

Slowing down, living more celebratory,
being more conscious.

"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." -- Bernard Meltzer

Yeah, I tried really hard this year but still: We cannot force the folks around us to feel the same way. My mum always uses to say: "There will never be a vacuum. People come and go."

Goal for 2010:

Letting go, agree to disagree, skip negativity.

"I dream for a living." -- Steven Spielberg

I wish I could make a living out of my dreams too, but I think Keane sums it up pretty nice:

"Cos now I only see my dreams in everything I touch,
Feel their cold hands on everything that I love,
Cold like some magnificent skyline
Out of my reach, but always in my eyeline now"



Goal for 2010:

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand.
I beat people up." -- Muhammad Ali

(Just kidding)

Of course my goal is: Don't forget why you do things, don't take them too serious though.

I hope you'll all have an amazing evening and a even more amazing year 2010 and never forget:

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Lorrys of love,

Tiny

If this day had a soundtrack... VII

You decide;

This is a cover of Beyoncés "Crazy in love":



I'll put my money on the cover (again!)

Things to keep in a jar III:

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

"Memories"

Hospitalis

Read this article about the awesome Restaurant "Hospitalis" ages ago but I thought you guys would like it (I sure do!)

It's in Latvia and totally hospital themed (Haha, who would've guessed...)
The waitresses look a bit like Milla Jovovich in "The 5th Element" though.

So there you go:

"Hospitalis"

First hospital memory

Yesterday I remembered my first memory from the hospital:

When I started working there as a help in Dec. 07 (Time's passing by..)
I overheard the conversation between a male patient and a nurse.

Patient: "So, yeah.. umm.. I wanted to ask you something for the other patient in the room, I live in. Well... Mr. X was not able to.. defecate.. Um.. I mean there was no normal laxation.."
The nurse nodds understandingly: "Oh, ok, I see, I see.. We will give him something so he can.. defecate normally."

(I've never heard someone talk so euphemistically about this certain topic.)

Patient goes back to his room, leaves the door half open, says very happy and content in a very broad accent: " Erwin! I ordered you something so you can take a shit finally!"

Made me laugh

So I've been to my favourite Café yesterday with Bee,
I had Torta Ciocolata and hot chocolate (so glad I'm not a diabetic.. I would've drop dead at the first bite..)
We chatted about our vacations and our jobs and, you know how girls are, about fashion.

Bee:"So my colleague wanted a pair of those Jimmy Choo shoes from H&M so bad!
Even though she is not the uber stylish kind of girl. And I asked her for which
occasion she wants them. Then she whispered almost without a sound:

"Screwing."

Still waters run deep and dirty, right?

I've been surfing the internet right now to see which pair she probably had in mind, haha.
There was an interview with Christian Louboutin also, who dreamt about designing a whole collection for this area of application.

So, do you remember the last thing you secretly wished for?
I do: These and these..

Can't help myself, I'm a greedy girl ;)

Things to keep in a jar II:

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

"Love"

If this day had a soundtrack... VI

No need to wear a watch

or to ever leave the house again!

Holy shit, I would move in there in a second if I had 25 million bucks under my pillow.

Amaaaaazing flat!

This would be also ok if the one above is already taken:

Victorian Grandness

Things to keep in a jar:

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

"Hope"

Heard this while gift-wrapping all my christmas presents:



Stuck in my head the whole day :)

Hope you had a very nice day, got all the presents you secretly wished for, no need for the present face?

Maybe this was the nicest christmas eve ever <3 This awesome illustration is made by Mark Weaver and I found it via Street Anatomy




Lots of love,

Tiny <3>

My wish list

<3 Please repeat this day over and over again in an infinite loop.

That's all.

Thank you!



(Skip the lines with Jesus though since they are uber cheesy..)

When I grow up I wanna be a pin up..

and look so amazingly stylish and happy and cute like these two fellas down there:

Found via this awesome site Rock'n'Roll Bride



So lovely <3

You decide;

Original:


(Skateboarding without shoes and helmets.. Tz tz tz.. Live fast, die young, huh?)


or Cover:



(My money's on José though!)

Snow

I wanna build one too!

Maybe in front of the hospital?

Just kidding!

Age is nothing but a number..

1.) Today an old female patient who suffers from dementia asked me how old I am.
So I told her and asked her back how old she is.

She answered: I think I'm ninety.. tho'... Naw, I think I'm thirty..
But I'm gonna be a hundred years!"

She is 91 and so cute.

2.) Later that day I brought her the tray with her lunch on it.
Patient: "I can't eat it.I don't have any money!"
Tiny: "Never mind: It's for free!"
Patient: "Really? That's very kind."

3.) When our head nurse wanted to change the patient's clothes, the patient said:
"I don't have any clothes with me."
So our head nurse showed her the hospital gown and the diaper for adults (sorry I don't know any euphemistic word for it.. so yeah..)
& she pointed at the diaper and said: "I like this one! Let's put it on!"

4.) Another demented female patient asked our head nurse while being put to bed:
"Wow, are these real?" and got the reply:
"Yeah, unfortunately they are."
She was touching her love handles.

Ok, I've got a groaner for you:

Why is a hospital gown like an insurance?
Because you're never covered as much as you think you are..

Minus and plus equals..

(-) Today a female patient defecated on the bathroom floor.
(-) Twice.

(+++) Lovely, lovely, looooovely compliments.

So I guess, it was a positive day ;)

Short film madness

Post-it Love



(Cute but the music is driving me nuts..)


Still life



(Just what the title says: Shocking but very clever)


Notte sento



I think the actress is pretty cute.

Leave me




Made me almost cry


Signs



Probably my alltime favourite

Kate MacDowell

This is made by the awesome Kate MacDowell!
I would like to have on of these.

My new motto:

Thanks to Anna! (Seriously I love it! Don't know how I survived without one of these until now :D XD)

If this day had a soundtrack... V

"Child In You"

Gift giving..

A very difficult topic.
How can you find a great present for someone you don't know very well.
Or who you know very well but who has everything (seemingly or not)?

How much are you going to spend?
What do they think if you are not able (or willing..) to spend much money for them?

"This is it? I'm not worthy more?"

Disappointment galore.

Gala Darling wrote a great article about the difficulties of gift giving.

I know I am a very difficult person when it comes to presents.
I don't care much about the prize of the present but I am definitely the candidate to think:
"What the heck shall I do with that?
How on earth could you think I could like/use/whatever this..
I thought you know me better."
It happened several times that I received earrings.
I don't even have my ears pierced!
Hello?

To my mind there's nothing worse than present that shows:
"I have absolutely no idea about who you are, what you like,
what you dream of or what you are interested in."

I know this may sound a bit cocky:

I think I am a very good gift giver.

So please keep this in mind when you buy something for someone:

Mass presents are a no-go! (Buying the same thing for a bunch of people because it's easy/convient is really condemnable...)

Try to find out what the person likes/is interested in/dreams of/really needs.

Shower gel will make you go to hell on a highway.
(What do you want to say with this? Shower more often? You smell? Think about that..)

This sums it up pretty nice:


Hope you'll have great high days and holidays!

Mr. Pearl

Aw... look at Dita.. I mean.. she is gorgeous!

MrPearl
Hochgeladen von AShadedView. - Unabhängige Web Videos.

Skip the fashion though.
The models look like anorexic transvestites..

Little announcement:

Photo taken by Tiny (2009), cake by D. <3

To make it even more official:

Thank you so much :-*

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Photo taken by J. (2009)

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

There's a magical tie to the land of our home, which the heart cannot break, though the footsteps may roam.
Eliza Cook

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)


"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."
- Francois Mauriac

If this day had a soundtrack... IV

I love this song!!

Christmas Shopping

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

It's freezing outside and I bought a bunch of Christmas presents while sipping hot milk with honey and listening to music.

Holy shit, I'm in love with online computer shopping!

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Living in your very own private apartment...

...
"Hun, did you eat all of the cookies which were left in the cookiejar?"
"No, I thought you ate them."
His girlfriend continued typing very busy on her computer in the livingroom.
Stunned and a bit displeased he looked at the obviously empty jar.

This was the third time that they accused each other to have taken away food.
One time there was the empty milk carton left in the fridge, the other time she found
balled up plastic waste on the highest top shelf.

Things started to be a little too mysterious to be ignored.
"I'll find out where all the food vanishes.." he thought.
But at first he had go to the local building supplies store tomorrow.

It must have been one or two o'clock in the morning, when
someone leeched on to him and squeezed his hand
until he thought he could hear his bones break.
"Wake up! Wake up! There was a noise in the kitchen!!" although it was way to dark to see he could literally feel his girlfriends panic and hysteria.
"It's alright, probably you just woke up from a nightmare."
"Oh shut up, I've been awake and there was a noise in the kitchen! Could you please get up with me now to find out what it was?" she sounded like there was not the option to say no.
They got up and searched through the whole kitchen.
"See: Nothing's there! Can we go back to bed now?!" he yawned sleepily.
She nodded but didn't seem convinced.

The next day he bought a little observation camera and installed it on the cupboard so the whole kitchen was easily visible.

After a few days of recording nothing but the two of them cooking together or drinking their morning coffee while reading the newspaper he actually wanted to remove the camera but then they watched another tape with hit fast-forward button while waiting for the daily motion picture to begin.

His girlfriend checked the TV guide obviously bored when suddenly he gasped for air.
"HOLY CHRIST! Oh my god. Quick, pass me the phone!!"
She looked up to see what was going on on the TV screen.
Her eyes almost popped out.
"Is that....oh shit.." She passed him the phone without taking her eyes off the screen.

Even though the quality of the camera was not the best, there was obviously a woman creeping out of the loft hatch above the kitchen table.
She tiptoed through the kitchen, opened the fridge and took the milk carton and a few yoghurts and climbed back up.

The police officer told them after the investigations were finished,
that this homeless, mentally ill woman probably lived in their attic for a few months without them noticing. Her hair was messy but the police officer described her as pretty clean so he assumed that she used the shower too.
Up in the attic they found a bunch of plastic waste, old daily newspapers, an outworn sleeping bag and the woman's ID.

Needless to say his girlfriend insisted on moving out as soon as possible.
Into a apartment with a janitor and without attic.
They never talked about this again but every time he forgets an almost empy plastic bottle
in the fridge, he can see her starting shivering..

...

This video and reading this article (Creepy, huh?) inspired me to write this.

Hope you liked it and that you'll have a good, quiet night and extra sweet dreams.. ;)

Evoking childhood memories

It is always surprising to me how easy I forget things and situations and then suddenly something brings them back to my mind.

My parents bought a blue piece of soap and when I used it, I remembered that we used this special brand when I was a kid years and years ago.
I always loved to inhale the fresh, clean scent deeply, while I tried to blow soap bubbles.

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

When I was still in school we read an article in educational science where young, middle aged and old people where asked which smells they connect with their early childhood.
Old people said things like: Milk, hay, curd soap, cattle, laundry starch...

The young people remembered smells like: fuel, exhaust gas, gum, ammonia, dye, perfumed clothes, etc...

When I think about my childhood I remember following smells:

freshly mowed lawn, campfire in my grandparent's garden, apple-cinnamon-crumble, the vanilla like scent of my mum, the acrid aftershave my dad used, I remember the smell of grandparent's house, I can only describe it as aromatic, spicy somehow. the chlorine in the swimming pool, freshly baked cookies.

I like those memories very much since I had a lovely childhood in a village where we could play outside the whole day without worrying, we built tree houses, roamed through the cornfields..

Maybe I'm idealising it a little bit but I rather remember the nice things than the less pleasant things.


I hope all of you remeber nice scents from your childhood too.

Random thoughts

Holy shit, I'm freezing.

..A big cup of hot chocolate would be nice..

And it would be even nicer to cuddle up in bed with it.
(I'll take the one under the staircase, please.)

And it would be even more nice if I had my laptop with me to surf the internet pointlessly or read a good book.
A discworld novel would be awesome.
Dozing, waking up by the promising smell of... Whatever appeals to you :D
(I would prefer apple-cinnamon-crumble)

So is it possible to do all that right now?

No milk. Bad start.

It's cold in my bedroom. Not even a hot water bottle would compensate that.

Read all my Terry Pratchett books at least twice.

Bad preconditions I guess.

I'll prepare a cup of tea, sing along with this song:



and tidy up a little bit.


What would you love to do right now?
Be honest to yourself! ;)

Have an exciting, cozy, interesting weekend :)

Too tired to type..

Hilarious!

Things that make me smile

No. 1:

Female Patient needs some cream on her feet,
I give her a little foot massage while I apply the cream.

Patient: "Aw, you're my angel.
The angel with the angelic hair." and runs gently through my hair.

Made me smile somehow.

No.2:

Old female patient smiles at me when I enter the room and says:
"Awww there you are! Have you met my grandson yet? He is very nice!!"

Grannies want my scalp or me to be their grand-daughter-in-law :-)
Cute.

The fucking word of the day

Do you already know "The fucking word of the day"?

Well, if not - check out the website "The fucking word of the day"
because "it's easier to learn with sex, drugs and fucking swearing."

Hell, yes!

Winter impression

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Waking up at 5 in the morning..

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

and not feeling as tired as I could be.
Perfect!

So yesterday when I went to our city center to buy some things for christmas
and all the upcoming birthdays, suddenly this elderly woman crossed my way
and even though it was raining and it was pretty cold
and the sky was dark-grey,
she was eating some ice-cream with such pure delight,
she made me smile instantly.



So I hope there will be anything making you smile today! :)

Procrastinating..

Yeah.. Exactly what the title says..

Actuaaalllyyyy I should be learning now because we'll write an exam on friday
but since I'm the inofficial queen of doing a gazillion other things while I should do something very very urgently..

Trail of dead - Another morning stoner



So I thought about learning for half an hour now and I deceided to clean my room first, get rid of all the papers, sales checks and whatever..

GUESS WHAT!

I found the key to success! :-)

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)

Hope all of you have an successful day!

If this day had a soundtrack... III

Bonaparte with "Anti Anti"


"We said high gloss is bullshit

it’s tragic, yeah, that’s it
you said fuck this, i said fuck that

we stood together, we said, what do you mean dad?

they are the millionaires, we are broke
they make a statement, well it’s gotta be a joke
they drive a limousine, we ride a bike
they own the factory, but we’re on strike!

say anti-anti, anti-anti
anti-anti, anti-anti

we were best friends, against big fish
throwing cocktails, yeah, eat this!
you’re all stupid, we’re not joking
we will change it, this gun is smoking

they are the millionaires, we are broke
they make a statement, well it’s gotta be a joke
they drive a limousine, we steal a bike
they own the factory, but we’re on strike!

say anti-anti, anti-anti
say anti-anti, anti-anti

now this is long gone – yesterday
i won’t say no – it’s yes I say

low budget craze with a fistful of rage
censorship madness, your brain is the cage
i’m a professional, just watch my dance
i’ve got fifty percent better chance
on one side or the other, when the curtain falls
i shake your hand, then i’ll kick your balls
no trigger nerves, just throw down the stitch
yeah, i nod and bow, then you’re my bitch

say anti-anti, anti-anti,
anti-anti, anti-anti

now this is long gone – yesterday
i won’t say no – it’s yes I say."

Patients from hell

A male patients tries to beat me.
I warn him pretty loud & angry: "SIR! Don't beat me!!"
Patient stops and tries to caress my arm: "Well.. Are you married?"
Tiny: "No. However I don't want to be beaten."

-.-"

Female Patient gives the alarm, sitting on the W.C.
"Well, I would like to be put back to bed."
T: "Alright, I'll take you to the washbasin first."
Patient: "Naw, that's not necessary."
T: "Oh, yeah believe me it is.."

Jeez.. do they skip washing their hands after using the toilet at home too??

This morning, I enter the room of a male patient.
His bed sheet is wet, the floor is wet, the whole floor in the toilet is wet.
It's a big puddle of urine.
Patient bawls me out: "The whole bed is wet! What is this here? I don't know where this came from, all of you do with me what you want, I can't do this anymore!!"
...
I cleaned the floor, I put clean bedding on, I took him into the bathroom with his wheelchair.
I helped him to clean himself.
He bawls me out since I want to change his pyjama (which is wet and smells disgusting).
"I don't have any more clean pyjamas!! I am not made of fucking money!"

...

I leave the toilet.
He is still grumbling.
I clench my fist.
I go back in and finish my work.


I enter another room.
Disgusting smelling, dirty, shabby patient (who refuses to shower) shouts: "COFFEE!!"
Tiny shouts back: "How are you talking to me?!
They say: Can I please have another cup of coffee!!"
Patient: "Yeah, alright: please! ... All of you nurses are in such a bad mood.."
Tiny: "Guess what.."

Except the story of the female patient all of these stories happened today..
Sometimes I really hope it's another episode of: "You gotta be shitting me"

The art of demolition..

All photos are taken by Tiny (2009)

Found this on my way home, this is what's left of a building
which used to be a home for the elderly.

It has a certain atmosphere, I like the way old buildings slowly decay
and get overgrown.

If this day had a soundtrack... II

The second video today, hope you don't mind the little own writing.

I love this song.
It's so calm and slightly melancholic.
The part in the middle is giving me chills.

Freediving World Record 2009

Freediving World Record - 88m without fins from william trubridge on Vimeo.

This is so awesome!
The setting, the footage, the light, the music and of course his great achievement..

Friendship..

For me being friends means feeling comfortable even though we're not talking.
It's not to disagree with everything I say just to be of another opinion.
It means feeling close and connected even though you are not near me.
It's not watching yourself and how good you look in a mirror behind me
while I am talking to you.
It means caring for someone and being there no matter what time it is.
It means to give and to take in equal measure.
Being friends means listening carefully, being silent when one's gotta get something off his
or her chest.

For me, friendship is showing the other person:
I am there for you and I care for you and even though you annoy the shit out of me from time to time,

I still like you.
I like who you are.

Photo taken by Tiny in 2008

Who is a real friend to you?

Feeling totally uncomfortable

Law No. 2 in Nurseyland:

"I will never ever deny patients pain meds just because I wanna knock off work quickly."

Today when my late shift was almost over, three intravenous catheter were not penetrable anymore. I called the doctor on duty and asked him to come and put in three new IVs.

Doctor: "So what are the patients names?"
Tiny: "Mr. A, Mr. B, and Mrs. C."
Doctor: "Yeah..You can discontinue the infusion for Mr. A and Mrs. C and I will see what I'll do with Mr. B."

So I disconnected the infusions and told the patients that they will not get yet another infusions.
I felt ashamed because the only reason the doctor discontinued the infusions was, his oncoming closing time. I'm disappointed in him because actually I liked him and he seemed to be nice and caring. But at the moment I am pretty mad at our docs since they are all way to half-hearted, uninterested and annoyed.

There is this old woman. She is slightly suffering from dementia.
She is anxiously and cut her foley catheter off with a nail scissor.
She cries a lot since she suffers from really severe pain.

The doctor who is responsible for her told me to inject normal saline and to tell her that she gets Dipidolor.
He wants me to lie to her face.
After an hour she gives the alarm again and tells me with tears in her eyes:
"Tiny, it's not working at all..."

I have tears in my eyes either when I write this since I feel so damn helpless
and I have no idea what to do to help her.
I have neither the authority nor the knowledge to deceide anything to help her.
I'm so sad right now.
I feel like you cannot trust the doctors anymore since they give a effing shit
about you as long as you don't die when they are on duty or since you are a private patient.

Demigods in white..
As if..

Photo taken by Tiny 2009

The death of Salvador Dalí

After watching a vlog called "The artist" yesterday evening,
I was inspired to thumb through my art related coffee-table-books and when I read his name
I remembered this awesome short film by Delaney Bishop:

Part I:



Part II:





After thinking about painters and artists for a while I came to the conclusion, that I like John William Waterhouse the most.
My favourites: The Lady Clare (Study), Boreas (Study) and A Mermaid.

Do you have a favourite picture? Or a favourite painter?

Thoughts about awesome and not so awesome things

My future colleague Dr. G and la petite future doctoresse (lil' ol' me) had a faboulous evening at a sushi bar after a definitely not so faboulous late shift.

For a second I thought I died unnoticed and woke up in hell somehow.
The 2 nurses told me that they work on this ward for 30 and 21 years by now and I felt like going nuts there after one DAY.

You certainly know the awesome site: Clients from hell (If not: Read it, it's hilarious!)
So today I thought about renaming this blog: Patients from hell.

I have no prejudices against patients. I treat junkies as friendly as millionaires.

But today I felt like there's a hidden camera and suddenly Dita von Teese jumps out of the closet announcing:

"Well, Tiny, hello and good evening, you are live on a new episode of "You gotta be shitting me!",
I'm your host, Dita von Teeeeese"

(Well this is actually a pretty sweet thought but you catch my drift, don't you?)

...

There is this woman, a private patient.
She was freaking out on thursday since there was another patient in the room (who left after 2 hours because she was leaving anyway).
So let's call her Mrs. K.
Our conversation was like this:
She: "What is this here?"
Me: "Um..Excuse me?"
She: "This is so chaotic, this hospital is rubbish, I want the room for myself! I'll tell all my friends not to come here!"
Me: "Give me a second..."

So I told our head nurse what was going on (And she loves those patients, if you know what I mean, of course you do ;)) and our head nurse told her:
"...Well... If all of your friends are like you... Fine!"
What can I say? She got the room all for herself and today she grumbled about feeling lonely
and having no one to talk to.

...

There's this young patient, an 18 year old female. She vomitted after waking up from her surgery. She told me that she was suffering from agonies and that she felt soo terrible.
10 seconds after vomiting.
Young patient: "Can I have a slice of bread with thick liver sausage now?"
Me: "Uhm... NO?!"

...

Old obese woman, lying in her bed, gives the alarm,
I enter her room:

"Mrs. X, how can I help you?"
She smiles at me like she told me an awesome joke:
"I need a dry on wet-treatment, thehehe"
Me: "I'm not quite sure what you mean.."
She: "I peed myself!"
Is she making fun of me?

I'm glad that she is not able to read my mind:
"Lady, you're to fat to walk, you're lying in bed, you effing peed yourself and now you're laughing at me as if you told me the best joke ever. What the heck?"

...

But the evening ended pretty nice.
Dr. G and I were sitting in my living room, drinking tea, laughing, making plans.
She has the same dreams like I do.
One day we will be doctors.
Photo taken by Tiny (2009)


Awesome thought.

Photo taken by Tiny (2009)