And that's it.

There is this one great quote I want to share with you before the weekend starts (well, not mine actually, I will be working)

It's from Terry Pratchett's "Hogfather"

There you go:

"But maybe that's all just plain wrong. The well known philosopher Didaktylos formed an alternative hypothesis: " Things just happen, and that's it."

Baby, that's Franz. He's going to live with us!

My friend Fabulous F. texted me yesterday around lunch time:

"Mr. T. (totally suffering from dementia) wants to share his lunch with me.
I said: No, I have to watch my weight!
He replied: A little bit more is nicer! But I will just look.. and caress you."
and smiled broadly at me. Oh dear, he is so cute!"


and later she wrote:

"Now he is eating cooked cauliflower with dessert... He is so cute.^^ Baby, that's Franz. He's going to live with us together. What would my boyfriend say about that? I'm going to ask him later^^"

Made me smile.

I had a cute ninety year old patient who had a hip-surgery.
She said: "Oh well.. This life is one of the hardest I guess.."
I laughed and said: "Yeah.. And no matter how hard you try, you will not get out of it alive."
She bursted into laughing "That's true."

Still one of my favourites

Massive Attack's "Angel" from their Mezzanine Album.
I heard it on repeat while I was riding my bike to work. Great.

I'm in the tub! Duh..

So I already told you about this patient at the ICU.
He had his eyes closed and I wanted to ask him something.
He opened one eye and said: "Hey, don't disturb me. I'm in the the tub right now.. Duh.."
Fact: He's still fixed. Legs, arms, a strap across his stomache.

Later he called my male colleague and said:
"Hey, hey, dude, I think there was this girl.. She fixed me!"
I told my colleague to reply: "Yeah.. And you liked it, didn't you?"

Your weekly prescription (Nerdy one)

Darth Vader Ice-cream (And Marylin Monroe!)

The Vintage Drink In case you don't know which drink you should serve

Ok, the next one is pretty special.. I'm not quite sure what to think about it. Even though it combines my love for anatomy, fashion and underwater. What do you think?

Lostlosangeles runs a pretty amazing Flickr set about an abandoned fun park

Does urine taste like Capri-Sun? According to the NASA: Yes.

Garance Dore, a french blogger I like very much, posted a collection of the worst advice when it comes to love, relationships etc.. My favourites:

If you’re curious whether or not you’re in love with your man, cheat on him. If you don’t feel guilty at all, you don’t love him anymore. If you feel guilty then it’s love and don’t worry he’ll never know you did it

and

Don’t worry, he won’t do that after you’re married.

and


We should have a baby, but keep living in our seperate apartments. That’s how they do it in Europe. I think it would help our relationship.

Bloodless bloody mary - done by Luxirare

Plus:

Some nice pictures I found on the Tumblr of my friend,

Without you

Making books cool again - Agreed!

Things I'm good at.

A bracelet I would wear at work - if it was allowed

Evening dresses

Who wants to recreate this foto with me? I've got the Superman shirt!

Skeletons in love

Love

Fo' sho!

I'm working at the Intensive Care Unit at the moment and it's great (Who would've thought that I would ever call my job great again?)

So there is this one patient who is pretty young actually, in his mid-forties.

He has to be fixed because he's in a delirium (Alcohol you evil mistress..) and already got a traumatic brain injury.
He removed his foley catheter a few times and while I took care of him with my colleague I noticed some blood on his inner thighs and said:
Is he bleeding out of his penis?
And our patient who has been spaced out all the time, suddenly opened his eyes and said:
"Fo' sho!"

A very watery post

A friend of mine, the great empress, has a very appealing Tumblr, you should check out.
While browsing through it, I found a lot of pictures which are seriously great.
So in addition to my little blog entry about The Swarm, here are some water-related pictures, I like.

No. 1

No. 2

No. 3

No. 4

No. 5

No. 6

What do you think?

The Swarm

I've been reading the book "The Swarm" of the German novelist Frank Schätzing lately. It's actually pretty good I think.

There's one quote I really like:

Leon Anawak (one of the main characters) talks to another person and suddenly thinks:
"The emptiest space-" realised Anawak, "is always within yourself."

City of the living dead

Dr. R., a psychiatrist who teaches us, is simply the best. No lie.
Dr. R.: "Hmmm.. looks like the film about epilepsy is not available. So we are going to watch "City of the living dead" and afterwards: The night of the riding corpses."

I would've loved that! But unfortunately we did not.
Instead we watched a boring film about Parkinson.. Duh.

Holy...NO!

Last week I had to aspirate a female patient.
So I prepared my aspirator, put on sterile gloves, took the sterile catheter and gently put it in her mouth and removed a lot of disgusting yellow slime that covered the inside of her cheeks.
Felt a certain kind of nausea rise up.
Then I put it a little bit deeper, to get to the slime out which was in her throat.
Suddenly she started coughing and I swear.. she spat out like a whole cup of mucus.
Felt the sudden urge to vomit, gasping: "NO! Holy shit, no!"

Blood, sweat, urine, feces, even vomit for fuck's sake, I don't mind.
But slime.. Yuck..

Girl Power

A lot of my fellow readers (..) do probably know, that Iam in the lucky position to have the best mother.
Fact.

Or would your mum buy you such a cool shirt?
I thought so :)

The song I heard on repeat on my way to work this morning.

93 year old pain in the ass wants some trouble.

A colleague of mine posted this on facebook, I seriously laughed my ass off.. Patients!

Patient: "Can you please help me?... I cannot reach my backside!"
T: "What? Why?"
Patient: "My arms are anatomical too short and therefore I can't reach it."

At the ward where I worked until today we had 93 year old wimp, who seriously got mad because no one washed her (Fyi: She dressed herself all alone, had breakfast on her own and did not ask for it until the finished breakfast).

Patient: "Who will wash me? I need someone to help me wash myself! I'm getting mad at you!" Points at me.
Me: So do I really look like I give a shit if you are mad at me? So, I thought you are all alone at home. Who washes you there, you pain in the neck, you.. Mrs. B.?
She: No one. I do it myself. But my wrist is swollen, therefore I can't do it now."
...
So we are in the bathroom. I wash her back.
(She: "Oh yes, that's so good. It feels good to get a little massage!"  Tiny: -.-" Bored face.)
Tiny: So what else do you want me to wash for you?
Patient: Oh, just the face, I did the frontside and backside already on my own.
Tiny: o.O"

So, if she is able to wash her ass, to get dressed and to eat all by herself, why isn't she able to wash her face?! Fun fact: She went out of the hospital two hours later because she didn't wanted any of the examinations and treatments that were planned for her..

Today I asked a patient when I served her lunch: Would you like to listen to the radio while eating?
She: Oh, that would be nice. ... But turn on something nice. Not those new age music."
(For her, new age means probably Beatles or Rolling Stones or something.. XD)

Heeeeey big speeeeendeeeeeeeeeer!

This month I went a little bit nuts when it came to spending my hard earned money.
It's been shopping mania.  And you know why?
Because I deserved it.
(Three A's in my oral exams!)


So here's part one:

Yours truly

Fabulous F.: "I'm going to call the devil!"
Tiny: "Oops. My phone is ringing!"
Both: O.o then XD

A sms I received from Fabulous F today.

"So sweet 183 kg on 163cm height ask me: Can I please get some sugar? Sweetener gives me cravings."

XD Made me laugh really hard.