I want my "Happies"

rgrgfndfnsdfgtjrhtuorw2!!!

Old people make me cringe!
My oh my..

 I helped an old woman to go to the toilet. I waited a few minutes and looked in to see if she was ready to go back to bed.
She was still sitting on the toilet (okay) but had not cleaned her..
excuseme.. ass yet.
I told her to do so. She wanted dry toilet paper (okay) then she said: "Now I want my "Happies"."
I was like: "Um.. what?" And she replied: "My Happies! I need my Happies!"
"I have seriously no idea what you mean."
"Those wet wipes you can also use for babies!"
...
I give her the goddamn wipes.
She wipes her ass and looks at the shit on the toilet paper (!!!).
"Why is my stool so dark?"
-.-" Are these kind of conversations really necessary? Why do I have to earn my money with "Feces-Talks"?
"Maybe you are taking some drugs which contain ferric oxide or stuff.."
"Ahh yes.. Because I lost so much blood during the surgery."
...
She looks at the wipe in her hands again. Then she touches it!!!! I want to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and shake her. Then I deceide: "If you she's not washing her hands afterwards I'll shake her.
She is ready (finally).
I want to get her dressed again so I can bring her back to bed.
She: "So now you have to fold a Happy and put it between the butt cheeks."
Me: "Why???"
She: "Because I want to secure everything. I always had problems with my digestion."
I think: "You can secure your car or your house but you cannot secure your fucking asshole!"
She wanted it so bad, so I had to do it (otherwise I would be still standing in this bathroom discussing the whole topic with this feces-fixated woman).
I'm disgusted.

I need a new job.