Yummy, yummy, yummy she's got shit in her tummy..

So a pretty crazy and exhausting week is over, I had a day off yesterday, plus a whole weekend too!
Seriously this feels like having vacation or something.
So I. and little old me had our exam on Tuesday.
Which was pretty good actually but made me learn one thing:
People suffering from dementia will always (I repeat ALWAYS) surprise you.
My female 83 year old patient for example was the cutest person on the whole ward. Seriously I could've stolen her and take her home just to cuddle her from time to time and to laugh about the cute stuff she says.
(For example: When I asked her: Would you like some mineralwater? She said: "No, of course not." in a very serious voice. And I was like: "Why? You like mineralwater normally." Then I found out she understood "Holy water" (Which sounds not really like mineralwater even in German) and of course no good catholic old lady would drink a cup of holy water or two to swallow her pills.)

So when our head master and the second examiner watched us washing and taking care of our patients the whole thing started..
I.s patient had been our problem child the whole week. She was depressed, confused, grumpy and not easy to get out of bed. On tuesday she was laughing, joking, helping a lot. I. and I were surprised and pretty happy.
The time schedule should have been like this:

I. washes and takes care of her patient, I assist her.
I. cleans the room, gets everything into place while I talk to another patient in a different room about thrombosis-prophylaxis.
After that I wash and take care of my patient, I. assists me.
Last but not least: I. would've done a change of dressing.

So I. was almost done with her patient, she did great and everything went according to our plan.
Then I heard my patient (who was actually still sleeping, I thought) go something like: "Nom, nom, nom.."
Ok, that was new..
I felt alarmed.
She never chewed in her sleep before. What was she doing?
I left I. alone for a second and sneaked behind the operable wall.
Ok.. what was she eating there...??
I came closer.
This certain smell..
Oh fuck no..

Later that day I. almost peed her pants laughing when she told me:
"Tiny, when I heard your voice all desperate and panicking saying: "No Mrs. M.... please! Don't lick your fingers, no!", I swear I couldn't stop grinning.

My patient grabbed into her pants, smeared her feces all over her hand and then started eating it.
Seriously she licked her fingers, one right after the other, in this "Gourmet" like manner.
I started hyperventilating ("WHY ME!? WHY IN THE EXAM SITUATION?!")
but then I thought: You have to do everything like you would've done normally.
So I cleaned her fingers and her mouth, made her rinse her teeth, cleaned her, changed the bed sheets and tried to do a good job.

Oh and needless to say: All the days before and after our exam she continued to be the cute little old lady she's been before.