Oh yeah, you're old and ugly and pretty sick, that really turns me on.. NOT.

We have a new trainee at our ward, she is pretty with rosy cheeks, a nice girl.
So while we where in the room of two male patients, one of them, the polish one, said:
"Wow, you've got rosy cheeks!"
and she replied:
"Yeah, I always look like that, even when I am sick."
He looks at her and replies: "Your cheeks become even more rosy! You are thinking of sex!!"
and I said: "Excuse me? What are you saying to our trainee? That's not appropriate at all."

I don't know why, patients seem to think that nurses are horny all the time. I can't think of any place, maybe except a cemetery, which would be less arousing than a hospital.