So viel Leid..

Today a patient died on the intensive ward I'm working at. That happens now and then, people are sick, people die, the world keeps on turning.

But this patient was special to me because I knew him from the cardiology ward.
He liked me, he was the one who wanted to give me ten Euros "because you're nice."
It's different when people die and a few weeks before you laughed and chatted with them, if you know their family etc.
His daughter is just a few years older than I am and really, it broke my heart.
She cried so much, repeating: "Dad, don't go, don't leave me." Over and over and over again.
When I told my colleague that he died he said: "Well.. Finally!" and I replied: "Oh fuck you, that's so mean."

It's part of the circle, to die one day.
But it's never easy and never nice. Dying is always ugly.