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| Saturday evening |
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| Saturday evening II |
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| The devil in the coffee machine |
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| The abandoned ward |
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| The abandoned ward II |
17.02.13
Random Mobile Photos
How was your day? "Okay."
First shift after my vacation.
Morning shift, getting up at 4:30 am,
we (my instructor and I) have to take care of three patients, one is old, awake.
One is a man, born in the sixties, he is braindead. One of the neurologists showed me a few signs which show you that someone is braindead, for example the "Dolls eyes phenomenom",
His girlfriend or partner or whatever should be asked today if it's possible to take his organs.
I don't know what I would say.
Yes? No? No idea.
Morning shift, getting up at 4:30 am,
we (my instructor and I) have to take care of three patients, one is old, awake.
One is a man, born in the sixties, he is braindead. One of the neurologists showed me a few signs which show you that someone is braindead, for example the "Dolls eyes phenomenom",
His girlfriend or partner or whatever should be asked today if it's possible to take his organs.
I don't know what I would say.
Yes? No? No idea.
Update
Things aren't going so well lately and I have to confess that saying this still feels totally sugarcoated.
What I can say for now:
I finally decided to give up my dream of becoming a doctor since yesterday I received the negative answer concerning getting into Uni this year.. or next year.
So, skip the little future doctoresse.
Maybe it's the future petite sans-emploi.
Ok maybe it's not that worse but saying that I am slightly broken-hearted, is still bragging at its best.
Fuck it.
12.02.13
10.02.13
9:03
Yesterday two patients at the ward died.
Their hearts stopped at 9:03.
One colleague joked that they died togheter so they don't have to leave this world alone.
This made me really sad.
In the end, you die alone, no matter what.
I helped on of my colleagues who took care of the dead male patient to pluck out all the catheters etc.
And he (the patient) just wouldn't stop bleeding. Seriously. It was horrible.
My colleague said: "I hope you are not too sensitive."
and I replied: "Why? What do you mean?"
He answered: "Well, I don't wanna wait until this fella here finally stops spilling his lifeblood all over the place, so: Yeah, never mind, ok?"
Then he plugged in the aspiration catheter we usually use to remove mucus and pus out of the patients airways, into the hole the interventional lung assist left in that dead mans groin.
I felt a little sick in that moment.
Their hearts stopped at 9:03.
One colleague joked that they died togheter so they don't have to leave this world alone.
This made me really sad.
In the end, you die alone, no matter what.
I helped on of my colleagues who took care of the dead male patient to pluck out all the catheters etc.
And he (the patient) just wouldn't stop bleeding. Seriously. It was horrible.
My colleague said: "I hope you are not too sensitive."
and I replied: "Why? What do you mean?"
He answered: "Well, I don't wanna wait until this fella here finally stops spilling his lifeblood all over the place, so: Yeah, never mind, ok?"
Then he plugged in the aspiration catheter we usually use to remove mucus and pus out of the patients airways, into the hole the interventional lung assist left in that dead mans groin.
I felt a little sick in that moment.
06.02.13
I am sorry I can't help you
I am busy with one of my patients.
Behind the privacy curtain the other (awake and slightly demented) patient wants something.
I stand next to his bed and say: "Look, I am wearing gloves and the plastic apron since I am busy washing your neighbour. But when I am finished, I will be there for you, alright?"
"Alright" he answers, while I vanish behind the privacy curtain again.
"And I am sorry I can't help you over there." he adds.
I smile a little bit.
Behind the privacy curtain the other (awake and slightly demented) patient wants something.
I stand next to his bed and say: "Look, I am wearing gloves and the plastic apron since I am busy washing your neighbour. But when I am finished, I will be there for you, alright?"
"Alright" he answers, while I vanish behind the privacy curtain again.
"And I am sorry I can't help you over there." he adds.
I smile a little bit.
09.01.13
Hurricane
Hey, hey it's been a bloody while. Hope you guys are still alright.
Let's move right ahead:
I've seen (and washed, ugh..) almost every kind of human body type. Like this
Had my first reanimation two days ago. Wow, never thought it's that exhausting. Been drenched in sweat after a minute or less. The most disturbing part was, that in this specific moment, I looked at the face of the man and thought: Oh jeez.. I am not doing you a favour in any way. It would be the best for him if we would just go and leave him alone. But no, of course not, I mean he was only 53 years old but had lung cancer with a real bad prognosis. Like my colleague D. said:
"They are all victims. Victims of our health system. They are not allowed to die."
Like that other patient we had:
Even at 93 years you are not allowed to die. Not before you had your 12th blood bottle.
Welcome to the end.
Let's move right ahead:
I've seen (and washed, ugh..) almost every kind of human body type. Like this
Had my first reanimation two days ago. Wow, never thought it's that exhausting. Been drenched in sweat after a minute or less. The most disturbing part was, that in this specific moment, I looked at the face of the man and thought: Oh jeez.. I am not doing you a favour in any way. It would be the best for him if we would just go and leave him alone. But no, of course not, I mean he was only 53 years old but had lung cancer with a real bad prognosis. Like my colleague D. said:
"They are all victims. Victims of our health system. They are not allowed to die."
Like that other patient we had:
Even at 93 years you are not allowed to die. Not before you had your 12th blood bottle.
Welcome to the end.
Abonnieren
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