9:03

Yesterday two patients at the ward died.

Their hearts stopped at 9:03.

One colleague joked that they died togheter so they don't have to leave this world alone.
This made me really sad.

In the end, you die alone, no matter what.

I helped on of my colleagues who took care of the dead male patient to pluck out all the catheters etc.
And he (the patient) just wouldn't stop bleeding. Seriously. It was horrible.

My colleague said: "I hope you are not too sensitive."
and I replied: "Why? What do you mean?"
He answered: "Well, I don't wanna wait until this fella here finally stops spilling his lifeblood all over the place, so: Yeah, never mind, ok?"

Then he plugged in the aspiration catheter we usually use to remove mucus and pus out of the patients airways, into the hole the interventional lung assist left in that dead mans groin.

I felt a little sick in that moment.