"It's like a cocktail!"

We have this uber cute Asian patient at the moment. She was a nurse too and she is extremely funny.
Yesterday she had to drink two litres of laxative to prepare for a coloscopy.

She said that drinking the laxative at room temperature is even more disgusting and asked if it was possible to keep it in the fridge for 30 minutes. It wasn't since our fridge at the ward was too small and too stuffed but I've thrown a couple of ice cubes in it and gave it back to her.
An hour later I asked her if she liked it and she replied:
"Yes! It's like a cocktail! I will go to the bathroom right now and get drunk!"

Dr. Mumble told us later that she offered him a "drink" too when he was on his ward round.

We have this other patient right now at the ward and he is more like a nightmare.
Yesterday he gave the alarm, sitting on the toilet.
He screamed: "I can't, I can't!"
And I asked: "Shall I put you back to bed now?"
And he was like: "No! I don't want to!"
Me: "So what do you want to do?"
Him: "I wanna take a shit!! You have to help me!"
Me (looking like: o.O) "So what shall I do for you now? Cheer for you?"