Raging Doctor

A patient who is actually patient at our ward but was at the Intensive Care Station was making trouble over there.
One of our Docs should go there and have a look.
Doc: "They want me to come over and calm her down! But I'm in the mood to wear her down!"

Wise quote

My fellow partner in crime Mr. Bonobo Stafford came all the way from Dublin and shared his wisdom with us:

"Like Konfuzius once said: ... Is that mine?"

Great times.

Never gets old

"Why are they together?" "..."

We were talking about a super nice and very cool Doc who is together with a Nurse who seems to be grumpy all the time.
Someone said: "Why are they together? I seriously don't get it.."
My colleague grinned and said:
"The golf ball and the garden hose.."
I started laughing instantly even though I had no idea what he meant.
Later he explained to me, that this was a quote from a film in which a woman can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Haha.

The ward round was over.
A patient smiled and said to the Doctor: "Get well soon!"
He looked surprised and said: "Yes, thank you."

One of my favourite patients (yes, I have some)
talked in the ward round about voices he hears in his pituitary gland and that in 1985 he wrote a letter which only consisted of one sentence: "Dear god, your R. does not have any feelings left."
He also stated the idea that catholics could be confused with communists.
Later he said:
"If you dream.." and stopped. I thought this sounded very philosophical.

One day I wore a white tunic which is pretty long over my jeans.
A drunk patient said to me:
"Put your shirt into your pants!" (like old people do often..)
and I thought:
"Dude... At least I wear pants!"
He was naked.

Today we got the timetables for our exams next week
and my dear fellow Nursey I. and I have our  exam on 12:30.
Tiny: "That's a good time actually."
I.: "Yeah, so I have enough time from 8:00 till 12:30 to shit bricks."
Tiny: XD

Is it gay to wear a boiler-suit?

I was in the hallway of the closed ward with a young patient. Two craftsmen came in to repair a door.
He was like: "Ey, ey, ey who are these guys?"
I replied: "Craftsmen."
He: "Gay! They are gay! Gay craftsmen!"
I said: " You plonker.."

Love someone

I love this song!

Doctor: "Oh come on, why is this patient back here again?"
Nurse: "Because he is suicidal."
Doctor: "Oh, I could totally do that for him..."

I picked something up from the floor a few days ago, so my shirt revealed app. a centimeter of my back.
Patient: "Hey, hey, hey! You've got a tattoo!"
Tiny: "No I don't."
Patient: "Of course you have!"

I lauged and said no again.

He said: "What is it?"
I replied: "Your name. Across my whole back."
He: "Really?"
Me: "Sure."
He: "Sweet!" :)

Crazy people are funny.

Grandpa

We have a new patient (Actually we all know him).

M. said to the Doc: "Male patient, status post...homelessness."
The patient screamed and yelled all the time: "All the doctors wanna sleep with me! Even though I'm not tired!
This whole perverted fornication here.. Every doctor is looking for gay sex! Look it up on the internet!"

When I gave him a pair of socks (because he had none) he became my relational care patient.
He called my "the scholar" all the time and "Miss Tiny". My colleagues made fun of me ;)

Another patient (who claimed to be the son of Prince Charles, the husband of Princess Stephanie from Monacco, the boss of the German Bank, a member of Interpol and some more things..) screamed at me because he simply didn't like females.
"Putain!"
It's been a while since I learned French in school but I do know what that means..
Tiny: "If you think you have to call me names,  you can leave the room immediately and forget your dinner!"
He looked surprised and mumbled: "I said python.."
Tiny: "Just shut up.."

What's better? Being called a whore or a snake?

Some more random pics I took

Golden days

Golden days II

Golden days III

Double rainbow!! (if you look closely)

A man walking with his dog.

The missing building

If all patients could be fixed this easily..

I  have a spine obviously.

Wanted one since...years?

Not so funny side of the psych

A patient suffering from depressions said at the ward round:
"I wanna go home. I'm not sick anymore."
Doctor: "So what are you going to do at home?"
Patient: "I don't know. Maybe I will throw myself in front of a train."

:(

Songs I like

Whoa, I love this song, it makes me dance instantly!



Heard this on my way home from work yesterday evening.



My mum used to listen to The Cure when she was young :D I like this song, I think it sounds.. well.. sexy?

Little Nurse

Mister T. (a patient) asked me: "Can I talk to you, little nurse?"
Tiny: "Um.. Sure."
Mister T. : "Can you come to my room?"
Tiny: "Why?"
Mister T.: "So we can have sex?"
Tiny: -.-" "NO!"

Yesterday another patient asked me:
"Hey, how's it going?"
Tiny: "Fine, thanks."
He: "Ey,ey, ey, can you kiss me?"
Tiny: "No."

A few days ago he asked me if I could sit on top of him.
Needless to say I didn't, right...right?

That's a catastrophe.

A male nurse at the psych ward:

"Being a borderliner is terrible. But being a borderliner and stupid is a catastrophe."

I laughed and felt bad shortly after..

Like this

Did you know that Owen Pallett is a member of Arcade Fire? Cool!

Just a quick weekly prescription

Hero


Confronting life pretty sad


Paid to do it, but he failed

I always like reading good quotes

Stars

Sorry, not much stuff this time but I'll be back :)