"But I felt so sorry for him"

There is one thing I love and I hate about becoming a nurse:
Somehow I started to say what I think, which is pretty funny for my colleagues but maybe not always appropriate.

This morning the assistant boss who was driving with me told me before we left the bureau:
"This will be a nightmare, you know?"
and I replied a little bit unbelieving:
"Isn't a little bit unskillful to tell me that before I am in your car, with my seatbelt on and no chance to jump out of the car because the central locking system is on?"

Well, long story short:
She did not lie. It was a complete nightmare.
I think (well I hope actually) that I am really pretty liberal when it comes to smell.
But this patient we had to take care of this morning or rather his apartment really killed me.
I seriously started shaking and felt the urgent need to vomit. Immediately.
 The food in the fridge was all mouldy. (I hate it when people use the same spoons for catfood they use for their own food - CRINGE! Or store open cans of cat food in their fridge. It just smells disgusting.)
There was a cat toilet which seemed to be cleaned for the last time maybe.. a month or more ago?
The bed was all wet. And by wet I don't mean sweat or water. I mean urine. Human and cat urine.
And cat shit. And human shit. And a few more other stains I don't even wanna think about.
There was no bathroom in this apartment. There was a small toilet downstairs but since her patient (I refuse to say mine, because he was def. not my patient.) isn't able to walk properly (or to walk at all, who knows) he just used two toilet chairs. Which were both completely full. Can you imagine the smell?
My stomache tried to commit suicide by cramping in agony.

After we left, I sat in the car, letting my head hanging loosely somewhere on my knees, mumbling:
" As a non smoker I now feel the urgent need for a cigarette and a shot of Wodka. You know that all of your colleagues will hate you for taking this patient in, don't you?"
She replied (shrugging her shoulders): "Yeah, I know, but I felt so sorry for him."

Sometimes I feel like no matter what we earn: It's just not enough.