19.01.14
17.01.14
Getting over it.
I wrote this post a long time ago, it was in June or July last year I think. I never wanted to publish it, until now. I think I finally made peace with it.
"Last weekend a patient of mine died.
It's been the first time, that I've been with a patient until the very end.
I mean, I've seen people dying. I've been there with colleagues but I've never been the one who was responsible for them in that moment.
So my patient died.
It wasn't a big surprise, actually he's been dying for weeks. His pancreas was rotten and started disgesting itself. My Doctor told me: "We are giving at most 1µg Arterenol per minute, not more."
At the end of my shift he arrived at that line, his blood pressure still lowered and he died within a few minutes.
I stood there, next to his bed.
One of my favourite colleagues looked into my room and asked whether everything was ok.
"He's dead."
"I know, I meant: Is everything ok with you?"
"This is the first time a patient dies while I am responsible for him."
"Tiny, are you crying?"
"...No.."
"Ok, I'll close the door behind me and you can be alone for a couple of minutes, ok? Just call me, if you need anything, alright?"
"Sure, thank you." "
"Last weekend a patient of mine died.
It's been the first time, that I've been with a patient until the very end.
I mean, I've seen people dying. I've been there with colleagues but I've never been the one who was responsible for them in that moment.
So my patient died.
It wasn't a big surprise, actually he's been dying for weeks. His pancreas was rotten and started disgesting itself. My Doctor told me: "We are giving at most 1µg Arterenol per minute, not more."
At the end of my shift he arrived at that line, his blood pressure still lowered and he died within a few minutes.
I stood there, next to his bed.
One of my favourite colleagues looked into my room and asked whether everything was ok.
"He's dead."
"I know, I meant: Is everything ok with you?"
"This is the first time a patient dies while I am responsible for him."
"Tiny, are you crying?"
"...No.."
"Ok, I'll close the door behind me and you can be alone for a couple of minutes, ok? Just call me, if you need anything, alright?"
"Sure, thank you." "
25.11.13
20.11.13
09.11.13
Music makes me happy
All of these songs make me wanna dance instantly, of course singing along loud and horrible, comme toujours!
But this song:
touches me so much and makes me shiver.
07.10.13
Unfinished post
A while ago I wrote the beginning of a blog post, it seemed to be the winter two years ago I suppose but unfortunately I did not finish it and I don't remember the situation. So we will never know what exactly I replied.
This is the post:
One of the guys who drives the patients from the ward to all the different examinations seemed to be in a pretty good mood. I wanted to pick a patient up at the intensive ward and said:
"Oh, wait a minute, I'm just getting a jacket, otherwise I'll freeze my ass off."
and he replied:
"Well.. With me, you don't need a jacket. The ride will be hot enough."
With made me look kinda like this: O.o" ...
and I said:
"
This is the post:
One of the guys who drives the patients from the ward to all the different examinations seemed to be in a pretty good mood. I wanted to pick a patient up at the intensive ward and said:
"Oh, wait a minute, I'm just getting a jacket, otherwise I'll freeze my ass off."
and he replied:
"Well.. With me, you don't need a jacket. The ride will be hot enough."
With made me look kinda like this: O.o" ...
and I said:
"
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