First thought: Serial killer or creep... or pervert. Just kidding

Dr. "Tiny, are you afraid of me?"
Tiny: o.O" "Um... no." (Thinking: Whoa..t the hell, should I!?)
Dr: "That's good. There are some of your colleagues who are actually afraid of me."
Tiny: "Okaay.."


Nietzsche is my homeboy!

Do you know that when you read something someone else said or wrote and you think:
"Damn it! I wish I would've said that!"

I know that feeling.

"I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm just upset that from now on, I can't believe you." 

Friedrich Nietzsche - German philosopher



One of those lovely old ladies died yesterday during or after her surgery, I'm not sure.

And fuck me sideways, I swear, I knew that she would die, somehow, I don't know why, but I had a really bad feeling the evening before and I've been right.

My friend J. sent me this song, Bloc Party is one of my alltime favourite bands.
I love the lyrics:

"For my sweetheart the melancholic, you have crossed the river styx
And the waves have taken you away
As I lay my head on your chest, I can hear it your veins
Wake me up when u come to bed
So toughen up
Biko toughen up
Biko toughen up
This world isn’t kind to little things
Was my love strong enough to bring you back from the dead
If I could eat your cancer I would but I can’t
So I keep writing these songs for you
To steal you from your grey
And we can dance in our front room again
So toughen up
Biko toughen up
Biko toughen up
I need you be strong for us
So toughen up
Biko toughen up
Biko toughen up
This world isn’t kind to little things
Don’t you know that when you stand you stand up for the both of us
Remember that when the darkness looms
Every tear you shed is cleansing, taking the pain away from you
I left you blueberries in the fridge, the little things that I can do
You’re not doing this alone


Very ambitious

Yesterday I've been to the ward next to ours, I had to ask for anything, I don't know.
So it was already pretty late, nobody was in the hallway anymore, when I noticed a picture I haven't seen before.

Two impressionistic hearts and the slogan underneath:

We repair broken hearts. 

That's very ambitious, I thought.


A little prescription

A little prescription, that's all.

If I were pregnant, I would so totally wear that!

Skin and bones - cute underwear.

Paper Torso - so cool, I want one!

Generic things everybody does when falling in love - cynical but so true. Laughed my ass off.

Why can't we just dress up (and I really mean dress up) more often? I adore this dress. It's gorgeous.

Oscar Wilde knows it all, like everytime:

"We are all in the gutter. But some of us look at the stars."

Stayin' alive - literally.

The trainees made my laugh a few days ago.
We talked about reanimation and they said, that they learned to do it in the rhythm of "Stayin alive". At first I thought they were kidding me but the friend of a friend works at a rescue service and he told me the same. So it must be true!

"Stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin' alive.
Life goin' nowhere.
Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Stayin' alive"



Last Sunday night - Thank God it's morning!

So on Monday morning my last night-shift ended. The first two nights I've been with my mentor, the third night I've been all alone, the last night, a colleague came from eleven till half past twelve and from three to four o' clock to help me out.
Now I feel a little bit hungover, because my sleeping routine is a little bit disturbed.

One night, a patient who suffers from dementia rang the alarm bell and said: "Well.. I've been standing here for hours straight, I HAVE to go to bed now."
Tiny: "Um.. You are in your bed already."
Patient: "Nooo.. I'm standing here upright, I am really exhausted, I have to go to bed!"
Tiny: "Well.. If you are standing, what am I doing here?"
Patient: "You are standing as well."
It was pointless, there was no way to get to him. He's been really agitated all of the nights, everytime I heard a sound I rushed to his room, because I've been afraid that he might fell out of the bed or strangled himself with his foley catheter hose or whatever.

But I liked the night shifts. It's so different. And it's kind of funny to drive home when everybody else is rushing to work. Plus I felt like I have my days off, I slept till twelve, got up and the day just started. Maybe I should ask my boss to give me more night shifts.

In my last night, around four o' clock a patient showed up at my desk. She looked at the organ donor cards and said: "Well.. I guess I don't need one."
Tiny: "Why?"
Patient: "Everything is washed out inside of me... Hm.. Maybe except the liver. The liver should be fine, I guess."
Tiny: "Yeah, and I hope for you, that you will use your liver for a couple of years."
Patient with a dry laugh: "Yeah, I hope so myself."

Somehow I remembered the song "Last Friday Night" by Katy Perry but somehow the lyrics in my head were slightly different.

Patient's standing in his bed,
There's a pounding in my head

Feces all over the room
Guess he's all covered with his stool,

Someone smells like a minibar 
Grandma's passed out in the hall
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled ..

Last Sunday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop-op
This Sunday night
Do it all again
This Sunday night
Do it all again ...


Here comes the night

On my way home yesterday, I heard a beautiful song on the radio, it's by The Villagers and is called "Becoming a jackal". Unfortunately it's blocked on Youtube in Germany, thanks to that fucking Geoblocking. But you can listen to it anyway using Videoproxy or whatever. The lyrics are so great.

Soooo.. I'll be on my way soon to the hospital, yes, because it's my first night-shift. (I'm confused. Do Americans or Britains really use the term graveyard-shift for working at night? :D That would be hilarious if you would translate it directly into German..
Tiny *enteringapatientsroom* "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, here comes the member of the graveyard-shift." I think the number of strokes and heart attacks would increase.

Sleep well and sweet dreams


Gypsy And The Cat - Time to wander

One of the few times a commercial has a song which does not suck actually.
I love the lyrics.


Your weekly prescription

Very 80ies, I think. You like?

Daria Cosplay - Daria is my alltime favourite animated series, I love Jane's humor, Daria's cynicism, the soundtrack (Nirvana, Massive Attack, etc..)

Back to the future - People recreated photos from ther childhood, so good! Part II

My friend Mr. Bonobo Stafford sent me this link, the shirt is great, it's exactly how we nurses look like at work. Except the smoking.

Update: A very cool picture MA sent me, I love House. The only Doctor I trust in, haha.


Seeing the world through Tiny's eyes (or camera)

My Marylin Tee - it's great :)

Chocolate candy filled with sea-salt caramel cream. Made by yours truly

The Elbtunnel

Hop in Hamburg

The doctor you trust in, haha

Natures very own lightshow during an exhibition in Bonn

I mermaid I bought in Hamburg.

Tiny near the river

One of the more beautiful parts of my hometown

Sunset at the Ruhr (river)

All of the pictures are taken by Tiny (2011)
It's been a while since I posted some of the pics I took (because I had something like a picture-facebook-overkill, it really annoyed me having everything of people's lives documented. Pic it or it didn't happen. PLUS: Most of the stuff is super boring..) But maybe you like these.

Thank you very much!

Today a patient sneaked five euros into my pocket. I smiled and said: "Thank you, but you don't have to give me that."

He smiled too and said: "I know what I have to give and what not, and I also know who deserves it and who not."


New year's blah

Happy new year! (A little belated I know, but I'm a very busy young miss, you know..)

SOOOOO... What are we going to do this year? I mean, work and commitments all aside.. What are you going to do for you this year?
New years resolutions anyone?

I decided to do this:

Leaving the all-black wardrobe to something a little bit more colourful. It's not as easy as I thought because everytime I see a piece I might like I think: "Well.. It's ok. Do they have it in black either?" But I'm working on it.

Visiting at least three places/countries/whatever I've never been to! Explains itself pretty much.

Blogging more often, write with a concept not just the all day, every day rants about work.

Getting back into shape/visit the gym more often. 

Spending more time with my friends, spending less time on the internet, surfing randomly..

and maybe most important: Finally start studying medicine.

“Now that it’s all over, what did you really do yesterday that’s worth mentioning?” (Coleman Cox)