Livin' easy, livin' free - or something like that.

Been to the CPR-instruction yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to refresh my knowledge after that reanimation on Friday.

So the instructor told us a little story how he had to laugh so hard at a reanimation once and I thought:
"Ok... that's a little bit inappropriate, isn't it?" but then he told us what was going on:

His colleague reanimated a woman with 100 beats per minute (The trainees at the hospital I work at, seriously learn to reanimate to the beat of "Highway to hell" or "Stayin' alive", how weird) when the woman regained conciousness and began to say: "Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch" with 100 beats per minute. He said that he burst into laughing.


If you love what you're doing, clap your hands! DON'T look at me!

Are you eating?

Great! You'll love this..^^

A lot of patients suffer from diarrhea atm. Yay..
I had to collect a feces sample from a patient and while I took it he said: "You have to do things-"
and I shrugged my shoulders and replied: "It's part of the job, isn't it?"
Patient: "Yes, yes. You've got to love what you're doing, don't you?"
Tiny: O.O"

(If he thinks that I love scraping his shit out of the toilet - thanks, but no thanks.)

So Baby keep my heart, b-b-beating!

Had my first reanimation on Friday. Geez, that's been pretty exciting. And yes, the patient survived.
No lie: Five minutes before my pretty cool, experienced colleague said:
"Tiny, I don't like that.. It's way too quiet on this ward. No telephone, no one on the hallway.. All the patients stay inside their rooms. Something's going on here."
And I was like: "Naaaw.. Relax. Enjoy this rare moment when it's not chaotic, loud and stressful."

And damn, she was right.


Here comes the night

I like doing the night shifts.
Usually I am on my own, everything seemed to be slowed down. You drive home when everyone else rushes to work, uni or whatever.
Plus it's super quiet on the ward.

On the other hand, weird patients act even more weird at night.

Female old patient rings the alarm.
Tiny enters the room, whispering: You rang the alarm, what do you want?
Patient: "I can't go on any longer, call the doctor!"
Tiny: "Okaay.. But why? Are you feeling sick, do you feel pain? I gotta tell him something if he shall come to ward. He will not come if the only thing I can tell him is, that you're feeling weird."
Patient is not able to reply properly, just mumbling stuff. Suddenly she turns her head, looks me straight in the eyes and says:
"Do you have a piece of chocolate?"

Wait.. What?

Tiny: "Excuse me?"
Patient: "Yeah, chocolate makes me feel better everytime I feel down."

First thought: Choke her! It's three in the morning! Choke her now!
Second thought: Or don't. Bad karma, bad, bad karma!
Open your mouth.
Say something.

Tiny: "... Wait a minute."
So I searched through our box of sweets in the room of the nurses and gave her a piece of chocolate.
 The end.

 Something different but even more weird:

A male patient, born in the seventies wanted a diaper for the night.
I said no.
(And not only because I've been afraid that he wants me to put it own)
I don't like it to give fit, young males these disgusting, plastic urine bottles they can hang next to their bed (seriously, at home they have to use the toilet too!) but I will def. not start giving out diapers to young, fit patients!