The truth.

“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” 

~Gloria Steinem, journalist and activist


These are my Happies. "I know."

Haha.. So good that there are still relatives who have a good sense of humor.
Yesterday I was in the bathroom with the "Happy" Lady again (Duh.)
and she said: "Yes and these are my Happies-" and I interrupted her and said:
"I know. You told me so five times before.
Suddenly her daughter says with a very dry, ironic laugh from the background:
"Oh and she will tell you this another five times."

I smiled.


Suits my mood

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
But the fight and the dog,
Let's surprise and take a slog,
And if you get a knife from behind,
Know you're nice and infront,
Do it, do it!
I wouldn't say a word till I've walked a mile in your shoes,
But once a mile from you,
I'll utter what the fuck i choose,
Wearing nice new shoes.
Do it, do it!

If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
Keep going!

Fall down five times,
Rise up six,
Give the good news by way of fists,
The mind plays tricks on the fighter who wishes,
Kindness is right and both sides win,
Push the limits of stubbornness to,
Finish up above the stubbornness of silly limits,
Run the ring around your finger,
And build the ring around to bring it, bring it!

If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
If you're going through hell!
Keep going!

If you can't join them, beat them!
If you won't 'roid up, be friends!
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
The joy of the fight is the fight in the boy,
I'm making this up now, finding a point,
Is it if you can't win, then run,
The coming two fists is the fun of the thing,
It's all just lads, and the normal abience,
For a stabbing, call an abulance,

I can resist anything, but temptation,
Lead me not into that place,
I can find it myself.
I can resist anything, but temptation,
Lead me not into that place,
I can find it myself.

Found it.

Your hero is only ordinary,
Is just a hero, a moment more than you and me,
You have nothing to lose, but your chains,
So it maybe might rain,
And yeah, maybe slight pain,
Or a day light slayn,
Do it, do it!

At the end of the tunnel,
There is always light,
It just might be a train.

If you're going through hell! (Been there)
If you're going through hell! (Been there, done that)
If you're going through hell! (Got the t-shirt)
If you're going through hell!
Keep going!

Made me smile.
Mike Skinner is so funny.

I used to walk to school hearing this. One of his best songs.


I want my "Happies"


Old people make me cringe!
My oh my..

 I helped an old woman to go to the toilet. I waited a few minutes and looked in to see if she was ready to go back to bed.
She was still sitting on the toilet (okay) but had not cleaned her..
excuseme.. ass yet.
I told her to do so. She wanted dry toilet paper (okay) then she said: "Now I want my "Happies"."
I was like: "Um.. what?" And she replied: "My Happies! I need my Happies!"
"I have seriously no idea what you mean."
"Those wet wipes you can also use for babies!"
I give her the goddamn wipes.
She wipes her ass and looks at the shit on the toilet paper (!!!).
"Why is my stool so dark?"
-.-" Are these kind of conversations really necessary? Why do I have to earn my money with "Feces-Talks"?
"Maybe you are taking some drugs which contain ferric oxide or stuff.."
"Ahh yes.. Because I lost so much blood during the surgery."
She looks at the wipe in her hands again. Then she touches it!!!! I want to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and shake her. Then I deceide: "If you she's not washing her hands afterwards I'll shake her.
She is ready (finally).
I want to get her dressed again so I can bring her back to bed.
She: "So now you have to fold a Happy and put it between the butt cheeks."
Me: "Why???"
She: "Because I want to secure everything. I always had problems with my digestion."
I think: "You can secure your car or your house but you cannot secure your fucking asshole!"
She wanted it so bad, so I had to do it (otherwise I would be still standing in this bathroom discussing the whole topic with this feces-fixated woman).
I'm disgusted.

I need a new job.

That's okay for me

So, excellent Dr. G and I went to the cinema yesterday evening to see a new movie.
Can you imagine which one?
I give you a hint!

Yes! It was the movie "Black Swan".
I may be not as graceful as Natalie Portman aka The Black Swan.
But I am defenitely not as mentally ill as Nina Sayers in the movie.
That's okay for me.


Very pretty! Very random,

Just a random vid I found on Youtube.
I like the old fashioned way the narrator speaks.


Whoo shoes!

Yesterday evening I visited faboulous F. in her new apartment and she cooked delicious things for me and later we went to the Temple Bar in Essen.
The doorman (bold, old, heavily built) asked me:
"Is there anything in your backpack that might be insteresting for me?"
I reply: "Make up?"
He looks into my backpack and says: "Whooo! Shoes!"
(I had my ballett flats in it because I didn't wanted to walk home in highheels..)
Made me smile.

The music was super cool:

Johnny Cash,
The Ronnettes "Be my baby",

Tom Jones XD

and a lot more I don't remeber the name properly.


What to do when it is raining..

It's not too nice outside.
I did the laundry already, made some plans and now I want to do something nice.

Time for hot Chai and old Hollywood movies!

I love Rita Hayworth (actually I wanted to look like her when I was younger)

From the movie: "You'll never get rich"

From the movie "Gilda" (Isn't is cute and sexy how she takes off her glove?)

Here are some pictures

Rita Hayworth

Rita Hayworth II

Rita Hayworth III

Rita Hayworth (old but still gorgeous)

My favourite photo

I think she was pretty interesting (married five times, suffered from Alzheimer when she was old, etc)
but also very funny.

Reporter: "What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror after waking up in the morning?" Rita Hayworth: "Darling, I don`t wake up till the afternoon." (1974)

When asked what had held up her dress in Gilda (1946), she replied, "Two things."

"I think all women have a certain elegance about them which is destroyed when they take off their clothes."

"Basically, I am a good, gentle person, but I`m attracted to mean personalities."

"What surprises me in life are not the marriages that fail, but the marriages that succeed."


Changing clothes in a wild sow cage?

Some people are dirty little pigs.

When I entered the locker a few mornings ago (it was about 6 in the morning) I seriously had a rage attack including running around, ranting like a mad man, tidying up the room with J. and swearing a lot. I think my fellow trainee colleagues were a little bit irritated.

What would you say if you had to change your clothes in a room looking like this:


All photos are taken by Tiny (2011)


How to spend a lot of money in very few minutes

Oh, Internetshopping.. one day you will be my ruin..

I mean, I didn't buy all the stuff I found while browsing through the internet (this time).
But if I had the money I would!

Black Rib Swimsuit also available in white.

Leg Bones (would be cool worn under a miniskirt or minidress)

Skirt (would be cool with almost everything but I think of black high heels.)

Things I cannot buy but which are also beautiful or interesting:

Nice loft


How I imagine ladies lunch

Meals cooked like the meals in Lord of the ring! Very cool. I would choose the second breakfast.

The last meals of deathrow inmates

A living room with a black wall.

Not everything was better in the past..

 The nurses were talking about trainees in general and work and stuff.
Stupid nurse: "Back in the days, trainees would not have piped up like today."
(Hint at the situation with the doctor.)

Tiny: "Well.. Not everything was better in the past.."

Couldn't stop grinning for an hour.

Tiny: 2
Stupid  nurse: 0


So you want me to be honestly or politely?

Today our head physician asked me all of a sudden:
"Do they treat you well at this ward?"
I'm surprised. Then I see my chance to strike back.
I say very calm and friendly:
"So do you want me to answer honestly or do you want me to answer politely?"
He smiles slightly.
"Of course I want you to be honestly."
I reply: "Then I would rather say nothing at all."

The nurse I hate and who bitches all day long looks like: "Huh?" O.O"

I would've loved to say "STRIKE!" or: "Eat that, stupid bitch!"

Tiny: 1
Stupid Nurse: 0


The three big lies of doctors

A new doctor asked me:
"Well, do you know the three big lies of doctors?"
I replied: "Um.. well.. Actually no."
He grinned and said:
" 1.) No, that won't hurt.
  2.) Sure, I've done that 100 times before!
  3.) I'll return soon!"

I laughed. Damn, he's right!


Luck equals sugar, chocolate, butter, a little flour and magic

Do you know what's always helping when you are in a bad mood? Chocolate chip cookies - selfmade by Mademoiselle Future Doctoresse.

Seriously, Subway and McDonalds can't mess with these little suckers

All fotos are taken by me (2011) and all cookies were eaten by me as well 
(well, not really..)


Enough is enough?

I don't like giving up.
One of the groups in one of these super duper social media networks I'm in (yeah, it's some kind of peer pressure. I also call it my virtual life.. whatsoever) is called: "Giving up is not my kind of style"
I actually believed in it. Even though times can be hard and life can be shit, it will go on, somehow.
Maybe not as easy and pleasant as you wished but hey..

But this time: Enough is enough.
I'm a trainee and not the last motherfucker on earth and even though I can be a bitch (even my mom said so o.O") it's not necessary to ignore me all the time. To not say hello or goodbye  or anything that makes it okay to work with your colleagues.
I don't like going to work with my stomache turning upside down.
I don't like to be asked by patients: "Are you unhappy?"

The whole thing started on my first day at this new ward.
I've been there five times before (I repeat: Five!) to check the service schedule.
Two times my name wasn't even on it.
Then it was not clear if and how I had to work on New Years Eve and stuff..
Then I checked it for the last time:
Dec. 27 Morning Shift.

It's the morning of the 27zh. I walked 45 minutes to work since no train or bus or whatever was driving because there was more snow than anybody had seen the last 25 years.
I arrived, took a seat. Looked at the service schedule again.
My mood dropped sub zero.
Dec. 27 Morning Shift Late Shift.
"Oh that's nice. Noboby told me so." I say.
The two nurses I had to work with looked at me in a mix of  disinterest and a silent "Shut the fuck off"
"You should've checked the service schedule. "
"I did. Five times."
Long story short:
They bitched at me. I bitched back.
I stayed and did not walk 45 minutes back home to come back to the late shift (which would've meant another 45 minutes of walking).
They complained about me to the assistant head nurse.
They complained about me to one of the instructors who complained about me to my boss.

They still only talk to me when it's totally necessary (e.g. to tell me all the things I shall do while they are sitting in the nurses' room).
I'ver never been more pissed when I have to work. I would rather suffer from the Noro virus than working there one more day.
I'm going to ask my boss tomorrow to send me somewhere else.
When I leave I really would like to tell them to kiss my ass but I don't want to be fired because of insults.