93 year old pain in the ass wants some trouble.

A colleague of mine posted this on facebook, I seriously laughed my ass off.. Patients!

Patient: "Can you please help me?... I cannot reach my backside!"
T: "What? Why?"
Patient: "My arms are anatomical too short and therefore I can't reach it."

At the ward where I worked until today we had 93 year old wimp, who seriously got mad because no one washed her (Fyi: She dressed herself all alone, had breakfast on her own and did not ask for it until the finished breakfast).

Patient: "Who will wash me? I need someone to help me wash myself! I'm getting mad at you!" Points at me.
Me: So do I really look like I give a shit if you are mad at me? So, I thought you are all alone at home. Who washes you there, you pain in the neck, you.. Mrs. B.?
She: No one. I do it myself. But my wrist is swollen, therefore I can't do it now."
...
So we are in the bathroom. I wash her back.
(She: "Oh yes, that's so good. It feels good to get a little massage!"  Tiny: -.-" Bored face.)
Tiny: So what else do you want me to wash for you?
Patient: Oh, just the face, I did the frontside and backside already on my own.
Tiny: o.O"

So, if she is able to wash her ass, to get dressed and to eat all by herself, why isn't she able to wash her face?! Fun fact: She went out of the hospital two hours later because she didn't wanted any of the examinations and treatments that were planned for her..