Age is nothing but a number..

1.) Today an old female patient who suffers from dementia asked me how old I am.
So I told her and asked her back how old she is.

She answered: I think I'm ninety.. tho'... Naw, I think I'm thirty..
But I'm gonna be a hundred years!"

She is 91 and so cute.

2.) Later that day I brought her the tray with her lunch on it.
Patient: "I can't eat it.I don't have any money!"
Tiny: "Never mind: It's for free!"
Patient: "Really? That's very kind."

3.) When our head nurse wanted to change the patient's clothes, the patient said:
"I don't have any clothes with me."
So our head nurse showed her the hospital gown and the diaper for adults (sorry I don't know any euphemistic word for it.. so yeah..)
& she pointed at the diaper and said: "I like this one! Let's put it on!"

4.) Another demented female patient asked our head nurse while being put to bed:
"Wow, are these real?" and got the reply:
"Yeah, unfortunately they are."
She was touching her love handles.

Ok, I've got a groaner for you:

Why is a hospital gown like an insurance?
Because you're never covered as much as you think you are..