My future colleague Dr. G and la petite future doctoresse (lil' ol' me) had a faboulous evening at a sushi bar after a definitely not so faboulous late shift.
For a second I thought I died unnoticed and woke up in hell somehow.
The 2 nurses told me that they work on this ward for 30 and 21 years by now and I felt like going nuts there after one DAY.
You certainly know the awesome site: Clients from hell (If not: Read it, it's hilarious!)
So today I thought about renaming this blog: Patients from hell.
I have no prejudices against patients. I treat junkies as friendly as millionaires.
But today I felt like there's a hidden camera and suddenly Dita von Teese jumps out of the closet announcing:
"Well, Tiny, hello and good evening, you are live on a new episode of "You gotta be shitting me!",
I'm your host, Dita von Teeeeese"
(Well this is actually a pretty sweet thought but you catch my drift, don't you?)
There is this woman, a private patient.
She was freaking out on thursday since there was another patient in the room (who left after 2 hours because she was leaving anyway).
So let's call her Mrs. K.
Our conversation was like this:
She: "What is this here?"
Me: "Um..Excuse me?"
She: "This is so chaotic, this hospital is rubbish, I want the room for myself! I'll tell all my friends not to come here!"
Me: "Give me a second..."
So I told our head nurse what was going on (And she loves those patients, if you know what I mean, of course you do ;)) and our head nurse told her:
"...Well... If all of your friends are like you... Fine!"
What can I say? She got the room all for herself and today she grumbled about feeling lonely
and having no one to talk to.
There's this young patient, an 18 year old female. She vomitted after waking up from her surgery. She told me that she was suffering from agonies and that she felt soo terrible.
10 seconds after vomiting.
Young patient: "Can I have a slice of bread with thick liver sausage now?"
Me: "Uhm... NO?!"
Old obese woman, lying in her bed, gives the alarm,
I enter her room:
"Mrs. X, how can I help you?"
She smiles at me like she told me an awesome joke:
"I need a dry on wet-treatment, thehehe"
Me: "I'm not quite sure what you mean.."
She: "I peed myself!"
Is she making fun of me?
I'm glad that she is not able to read my mind:
"Lady, you're to fat to walk, you're lying in bed, you effing peed yourself and now you're laughing at me as if you told me the best joke ever. What the heck?"
But the evening ended pretty nice.
Dr. G and I were sitting in my living room, drinking tea, laughing, making plans.
She has the same dreams like I do.
One day we will be doctors.
Photo taken by Tiny (2009)
Photo taken by Tiny (2009)